BOARDING THE FLIGHT OF "What if's". And why you should always pack your cards.
Barbara stopped fast at the entrance gate to the jetway. Her heart pounded so hard she could feel it in her ears. Her carry-on bag slipped in her hand as sweat filled her palms. During the wait to board her flight, she had obsessed about the pilot….
Barbara wondered how many years this pilot had been flying? Was this to be his first solo flight? Yikes. Had he gotten enough sleep last night? Did he have an argument with his wife? Or his co-pilot!? Was he angry? Depressed? Did he remember to pack his glasses? OMG…
Was she really about to put her life in the hands of some guy she knew nothing about?? And thousands of feet off the ground too??
The suffocating tunnel leading from the gate to the airplane door appeared to narrow and sway as her panic-driven mind ran amok. She was convinced the only way she could predict the safety of this flight, was if she had control of the situation. It was the only way she could confidently board that plane!
A long line of frustrated passengers had collected behind her and she knew she had to move. She stepped cautiously onto the airbridge, walking slow and nervous down the endless, sloping, tunnel to the plane door.
By the time she reached the smiling flight attendants she had made her decision. She would pilot the plane! How else could she be certain of her safety??
She casually eased past the attendants and, instead to turning right towards her assigned seat, she darted left into the cockpit….
An extreme story? Maybe. But I have to tell you a secret. I have obsessed about that pilot. In the midst of turbulence have wondered if my pilot could pull off a Scully landing on the Hudson if he needed to. Then I wished I had just rented a car and drove myself instead..
The looming “what if’s”. They have botched many of my days. And consumed many of my years. Irrational Fear and the troubled theory that I had to be in control…was to say the least…a problem.
EVERY ONE IS DIFFERENT..
This is obvious. But I say it boldly because i’m about to give you a snapshot of me during an “icky” transition in my life. And whatever I say, or don’t say, is not meant to minimize anyone else’s circumstances. FEAR is very scary, consuming, and debilitating. I honestly get pissed off when someone hands me a checklist and says ‘DO THIS. And you won’t be afraid any more. Yeah right.
With that said…I had no idea what was happening when FEAR swallowed me. I couldn’t even tell you when it happened. It seemed all of the sudden I couldn’t think past me. I was afraid that I was going to get sick.. or maybe my heart would just stop beating in the middle of the night. I was afraid that something would happen to my family…and then…what would I DO? It was a completely selfish fear. I was terrified about my finances. I was scared to be alone. I finally hit bottom when I became so afraid that I couldn’t leave the house.
None of my thoughts were rational. I was living in an internal hell that felt eternal. I was completely unable to think about other people. I was so afraid for myself that everybody else just sort of disappeared. No one could help me BUT ME, and I was useless.
The most impactful question I was asked during that time was “what are you so afraid of?” And then my friend immediately followed it with this question…”are you afraid of dying?” It was one of those simple questions that flip flopped my perspective almost immediately. And the fact that this question was presented to me in a church lobby on Sunday morning made it even more cogent. I am a believer. Young in my faith then…but wow..my thought patterns shifted after that. If dying and being with Jesus was my worst case scenario…then what was I so afraid of?
Slowly, very slowly, I found my way back to me. I started to notice the existence of other people on the planet again. It’s bizarre to think about now, but I had made my “life box” so small that all I could hear was my own heartbeat. I was like a turtle who retracted into its shell, and never came out.
When family, friends, PEOPLE appeared again, my days got better. I came out of my internal shell and started to live outwardly again. I considered others before myself, in a healthy, unselfishly way. This actually took a lot of practice. But I was intentional. Instead of focusing on my fear first, I focused my thoughts on others. I gave compliments and small tokens of appreciation. This made others feel good. And made me feel good too. It was a “WIN WIN”.
This small act of giving changed my life. I was able shift my focus to others through giving, instead of focusing only on my fears and allowing them to swallow me.
Possibly this suggestion would have helped Barbara? Barbara was the scared, “what if” passenger at the beginning of this post. Maybe her story would have changed. Maybe it would have gone like this…
Barbara had arrived to the airport early. She was grateful that her walk to her boarding gate had been short and light. There were still plenty of empty seats in the waiting area, so she detoured to the nearest Starbucks in the terminal.
Treating herself, Barbara ordered a Venti Caramel Macchiato with extra whipped cream. She thanked the barista for her coffee then rolled her carry on bag to her gate and nestled into a warm, quiet seat by the window.
Barbara stopped for a moment staring at the big, intimidating jets and airplanes on the other side of the glass. She didn’t like flying…she didn’t like flying at all. Mostly she held her breath during flights. She jumped at every bump and turbulent shift, tensing and tightening her grip on the armrests. She wondered how many years her pilot had been flying…
Barbara shook off the thought…turning her focus to her sister.Barbara was traveling to visit her sister today. She hadn’t seen her for a very long time. Her sister was going to meet her at the airport and she couldn’t wait. They had pre-planned silly things to do for the whole week. This visit was going to be good for both of them. Barbara smiled and looks away from the window. Her thoughts drifting to family and then to friends.
Barbara reached into the front pocket of her carry on bag and pulled out a pen and her greeting cards. Checking her watch, she was happy to see she had time to write a few short notes to friends. One friend was having some health issues and Barbara wanted to encourage her. She wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone. The other friend, Barbara had lost touch with. She wanted to reconnect. She wanted to say hello and let her friend know she missed her…
As Barbara sealed and addresses the first envelope the gate attendant announced it was time to board. Where had time gone?
She rummaged for her boarding pass, tucking the cards and pen in her bag. Barbara’s stomach flip flopped as she joined the line down the sloping jetway. The flight attendants at the end of the tunnel greeted her with a warm, comforting smile.
Barbara took a deep, steadying breath and followed the other passengers down the narrow isle of seats till she found her assigned row. Before placing her carry on bag in the overhead compartment she reached for her cards.
Sliding into her seat, Barbara closed her eyes and prayed for protection and or a safe flight. She prayed for her pilot and then she handed her anxiousness and fear to God.
Barbara opened the cards and turned her thoughts to her friends. She wrote simple, thoughtful notes of encouragement. Words she knew she would like to receive. Before she knew it, the pilot was announcing their decent .Barbara smiled with anticipation, looking down on the approaching city, hoping she could spot her sister!
As you might notice, I like extreme stories. But this one, the second one, could be absolutely true with just a little intention. Sending a note, or mailing a card is probably not going to change the world. And it may, or may not distract you from your fears. But until you make the CHOICE to send it, you will never know.
Remember what I wrote earlier? About giving compliments? Small tokens of appreciation? It makes others feel good. And it makes you feel good. I just can’t find a downside… This is a “WIN WIN”.
